Autumn is here. Definitely. Right now, the rain is tapping on my window, I hear the wind howling and our radiators make that little clicking sound when they try to battle the cold. I'm drinking cups of tea and I'm wearing the Alpaca poncho, that I bought on our trip to Peru.
And I feel miserable. It's dark, when I get out of bed and walk to the train station. It's dark when I walk back home. I don't feel cosy in our tiny appartment. It's cramped and full. There's stuff everywhere, there's no place to decorate and I don't really like our furniture. I can hear our neighbour. I hear him coughing, I hear his TV, I hear him snore at night (!), I hear him screaming at his children. And he screams to his children a lot. And they scream back. Constant noise.
I'm always cranky. I can't find my peace in reading. I don't have the calm to sit down and crochet. I don't like watching TV, I stop every movie in the middle and go to bed. But I don't sleep well. I am cranky in the office. I can't wait for it to be evening so I can get back home. But I don't like being at home. I don't feel comfortable in our appartment.
I started to go running again and to be more active. I run three times a week. I see and feel the progress. When I started running about a month ago, I barely made 2 kms. Yesterday I ran for 5.4 kms. It's my first time EVER that I ran more than 5 kilometers. That made me very proud. I felt good, happy and alive. The feeling didn't last.
So I'm trying to find a way to get out of this constant bad mood and negative feelings. I try to appreciate the little things in live. I want to sort out or appartment, to get rid of some of the mess, to make it more comfortable. I try to spend more time in the kitchen, cooking food that keeps us warm. Cuddling up in my crocheted blankets. Planning to crochet a new one. I'm going to buy a load of candles to place around our rooms. I love candles.
I'm trying to embrace autumn and winter as parts of the circle of life.
But it's not easy. The old habits keep creeping back on me. So I ask you:
Do you have any advice for me to lift up my mood? Do you have books that you can recommend? What do you do, when life gets you down and you are tired of everything?
I'm glad for every tip that you have for me!